Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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