I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
