Only a mothe r could love this liver
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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