i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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