Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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