Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Vodka?
Forever.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
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