so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
We talked him into tasing himself.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
