i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
