Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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