I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
