It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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