they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
