her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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