You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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