now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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