dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
