He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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