We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
