So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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