pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
