Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
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