I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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