how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
