he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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