I just pynch a tree in the face
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
