MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
