He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
FUCK WHALES
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
