He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
