In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
