He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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