then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Did I show you my penis last night?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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