yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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