we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
