So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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