If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
