I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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