I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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