I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
