you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize