he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I woke up under a house in Key West
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