I can text with my tongue
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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