I should be sponsored by Trojan
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
This toilet bowl is my home.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
