I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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