"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
