Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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