when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
