hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Couch. On fire.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
