I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
