Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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