Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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