It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize