Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
