Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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