Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
soo... how was my night?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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