We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges