Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.