i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
