No awkward lesbian experiences without me
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
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I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
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Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive