More tranny stories later!
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.