I need help removing her.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
