So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.