batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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