what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
